Expecting the unexpected, alone...
Other than the whirring of the dryer in storeroom, and the riffs of Yellowcard playing on my computer, the house is silent. The house is empty, minus me and my 4 cats. Sis is out for a dinner, so that leaves me with the prospect of having an evening all to myself for the first time in god knows how long. I took half a day off from camp today, and it appears that I might have to take more offs in the coming week.
My mother called back just a few hours ago, with instructions to ready ourselves for a flight back to Miri, latest by Monday. My grandfather's slipped into a coma, and is now 100% dependent on the respirator. He's stopped breathing on his own, and doctors, who had given him medication to induce sleep a few days ago, are now unable to wake him. My father's still there with him, and now wants the rest of the family (me, my sis and my mother) to join him. I don't know how long I'll be there in Miri, but I've decided to take urgent leave from Mon to Thurs. I'll be skipping my ATP range, which is supposed to be held from Mon to Wed. It's not an ideal thing to do, but I don't have much of a choice. My cats will have to sent to a pet hotel, and judging from past experience, these lodgings aren't the best environments to keep your pet, despite their 5 star credibility. Me and my sis had no idea that we would actually have to use the "emergency ATM card" that my mother left behind; instant access to 3000 dollars should any mishap occur. Well, a mishap has occured, and we'll be paying for the 200 dollar hotel fee using the card.
Expect the unexpected. When my grandfather started coughing a few months back, everyone passed it off as a normal passing, well, cough. However, my mother's sixth sense kicked in. She had that 'feeling' that something bad was going to happen. And so she pressured my father to fly my grandfather over to Singapore for a check up. He tried, but to no avail. No one in the family, both here and in Miri, could persuade my grandfather to budge. After all, it's just a cough, isn't it? A few weeks later, my grandfather collaspes, and is sent to the ICU, where he has been till now. Except that now, the cough has led to him being in a coma.
Yellowcard is still playing on my computer. The dryer's stopped whirring; that means it's time to collect my clean laundry. The toilet needs cleaning, and so does most of the house in fact. Perhaps this is a prelude to the life of independence that I will hopefully embrace in 2006, when I start studying overseas. It is a nice feeling somewhat. After this blog, I shall head to the gym for a very much procrastinated work out. A shower, and I'll drive out, alone, to have my dinner. By the time I'm home, it'll be nightfall, and I'll proceed to clean up the house, and perhaps do some packing for the flight on Sunday night. All this alone. It's nice to be independent, and not rely too much on anyone. A few months ago, this would have been an awfully depressing moment for me. I can't imagine getting through this without shedding a tear for her. But i'm fine, and my eyes will remain dry. Of course, I can't imagine living alone for an extended period of time. Everyone needs company.
Company. My grandfather is probably having company right now, in his ward. But I doubt that he is aware of it. All I can do now is hope that he pulls through. Hope? What about praying? I've never prayed before, or at least seriously. I believe that we are all creations of a higher being, one that most people generalise as God through their various religions. But would I pray to this, God? No... I can't. I can only hope.
posted by Cerost @ 6:09 PM
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