Irony...

Oh man... I just woke up.

I dreamt of Danielle last night. A very clear dream. We were back in Sec 3 or 4, when we were both still in our BNSS uniforms. She wanted to come back, as though she had already dumped me for Sun back then. I remember giving her the cold shoulder. She gave me something, a CD. Then somebody called her, it was Sun. She said to him the things which I so badly wanted to hear; that she no longer wanted him, that she no longer loved him. After that, we got on the bus, and I remember contemplating whether to send her home. Then, I wake up.

I miss THAT Danielle. The short haired, geeky looking girl who was my best friend in Sec sch. I realise that everytime I dream of her, I don't see her with her 'new' look, with her long hair and trendy clothing. I see her as I first fell in love with her, when life was simpler, when we were both purer... She's so pretty now, but in my dreams, it seems as though I choose to remember her as she was...

I remember the last time I dreamt of her, I woke up feeling horrible. I was close to tears. I was close to just giving up this fight of getting over her, and very nearly destroyed my efforts by calling her. But thankfully, I didn't. What a marked difference this time round. I'm feeling more philosophical right now. No real trace of pain or sorrow. Maybe just a tinge of sadness. Of course, everyone misses their first. But other than that, I'm feeling pretty good. I've got my whole life ahead of me. I've got so much to do, I've got friends, I've got a life. Now that I look back, things haven't been that bad ever since she left.

I just find it ironic, why I still dreamt of Dan. Why not her? Just gettin her sms makes me so happy, let alone seeing and talking to her. Ay... she's so nice to be with. I feel so... at ease, at peace, yet nervous with her. Am I....? ay... I wonder what she feels bout me though...

ANYWAY..... I've got a pretty exciting day lined up. Meeting my MP section for lunch later (yep, the same guys who got me my Puma shoes!), and tonight I'll be jammin again! It's Leaf's birthday, so I guess I'll pay his share of the jam later. That's what bros are for eh? Got a couple of new songs lined up, so hopefully we can make this a fruitful jam session.

Well, that's all for now....... yeah. that's all. Till next time...

Heart-stopping moments belong in the Matrix; they are all in slow-mo

Aloha!

No, i'm not in Hawaii. Sometimes, we do and say certain things without having any logical or comprehensible reason no?

Well, let me blog about the first day of my long weekend. Yes, it was Friday, Hari Raya Haji, and boy was it a tiring but fun day. First off, met Rong in the morning to go cycling at East Coast Park. It wasn't quite as cool and windy as I would have liked, but at least the Malay familites weren't out in force with their tents and BBQ pits. That would have made cycling ALOT more hazardous!

Anyhoo, picked Rong up from her place at bout 7.30 in e morning, and by some bizarre twist of fate, we were both dressed in jet black! Black singlet, black shorts, and black sandals! If I wasn't blessed with white hair, I'd note the black hair too. Reached the park, only to find that the kiosk wasn't opened yet! We had a little chat by the coast while waiting, where we discovered an abandoned photo of a young Malay couple, tons of peanut shells and the floating head of a lady by the sand bank. Bwahaha... =p

Once we got our bikes, we set off for the stretch of East Coast nearer to the airport. Now, I have gone cycling with quite a number of friends before, but nothing was going to prepare for me for some of the shocks that I was about to encounter. Haha, I shall leave the explicit details out, but in a nutshell, Rong gave me 3 friggin heart attacks! Note: title of blog. Still, despite the mishaps and close shaves, she kept her spirits up and persevered towards the end. Nice work yah Rong? Heh... Well, the road did get quite congested towards the end. I myself nearly rammed into a little boy who stopped his bike in the middle of the cycling path. He had that "life flashing before his eyes" look on his face as I swerved past him. Sheesh...

We finally returned our bikes back to the now packed kiosk, to discover how bloody sore our butts were! In fact, my butt and certain, ahem, soft spots are still aching! McDonald's was way way too crowded, so we headed off to Geylang for my favourite, and probably S'pores' best "tou huay"! Had a interesting brunch of xiao long bao that tasted like dumplings, and some bread with meat and egg that was ultra ultra tough. Thanks for the breakfast ah Rong... Heh, I'm not used to getting "blanjahed" to stuff. =P Anyhow, when i parked the car at the Geylang, i didn't bother to display my parking coupon. And lo and behold, just as we drove out of the car park, guess who rode in? The guy on the scooter who books all parking offenders like me! Bwahaha, man, must be all that good karma we stored during the day. Rong helping the little girl in the toilet, Rong helping the man with the chinese handphone (i thought he was a pimp), and teaching all those people in east coast park about road safety! Hey, that means only Rong did e good deeds, but i escaped the ticket. Wah... weird... haha

Slept like a pig in the afternoon, waking up only just in time to meet my JC mates (Ben and Shuh) in Orchard to do some shopping. Well, more precisely, to watch them do their shopping. I just couldn't find anything that suited my fancy. Man, I'm losing hope in finding clothes that I feel comfortable in. Needless to say, I started to get bored and tired after a couple of hours. Kieng met us later in the evening to bring us to Indo Chine. It was warm, stuffy, and filled with cigarette smoke. Beer, my least favourite drink was served, and the place didn't even serve iced water. But.... but..... all of these downfalls became irrelevant the moment I heard the live band play. It was a simple 3 man band; a lead singer with a guitar, another lead guitarist, and a keyboardist. But by God, their music was absolutely beautiful. They performed alot of classic rock hits, like "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran, "Plush" by Stone Temple Pilots, "Always" by Bon Jovi, as well as a couple of modern hits like Superman and This Love. I could have sat there ALL night just listening to them perform. In fact, I've been so inspired by their performance, I've gotten all the tabs and lyrics of the songs they sang that night so I can practice my performing skills in camp! Bwahaha... pity my platoon mates.

So that pretty much sums up my Fri. Today was a pretty bad day. Went all the way to a public gym in Bishan to train with a friend, only to be played out by him coz he overslept. Furthermore, I got chased out of the gym because I was wearing sandals. Damn... Other than that, the day has been pretty uneventful.

So Fri is the highlight then. A day to remember for sure; one helluva morning, and an inspirational evening. Definitely looking forward to more cycling or exercise regimes in the future!

Kk, that's all for now, till next time...

Sea sickness, with a dash of embarrassment, and a teaspoon of foot rot

Well, this has been a pretty interesting day. Not in a positive light however, the day's events have proved somewhat detrimental to my general well-being.

First off, my sis has gone back to Tazzie. She should have arrived back at her second home this morning, and I'm assuming she and David are in the midst of unpacking all their luggage as I'm typing this. Lucky... When will my time of liberation come...? (after ORD of coz, duh)

Right. To the events of today! I went to work this morning dressed in a grey textured AL shirt, black straight cut pants and my black duck bill court shoes for a morning operation. Generally, whenever we have to conduct checks at either the airport or naval bases, we have to dress up in a more formal sense. This morning, our area of operation was one particular naval base at one corner of our island. Me, along with my Indian platoon sergeant, my section commander and 2 other colleagues, set off from our camp in our white GP car at about 7.30 in the morning, only to turn back 5 mins later, after realising that we forgot to bring some essential documents and tools! Bummer number 1.

Documents in hand, we set off from our camp once again. Now, the naval base which we were headed to happened to be on the other side of the island from where we were. Yes, it is a long, long way from camp. 15 mins into the journey, my eyes chanced upon the drooping fuel meter on the dash, which was just hovering about the "E" mark. There was NO way we were gonna get to our destination and back with that level of fuel. SO, we spent the next half an hour or so circling the Woodlands area for a Shell station to top up the tank. By this time, we were already late. In fact, to say that we were bloody late, is an understatement. Bummer number 2.

With the fuel meter pointing north again, we set off once again to our destination, only to have the stuffy silence in the GP car interrupted by the ring tone of my section commander's mobile. It was the personnel at the naval base, who had been informed beforehand of our spotcheck, and were of course, waiting impatiently for our arrival. The reason for the phone call? To inform us slow-pokes that a full Kernel (in lay man's terms, a big f*ck* in the military) was ALSO waiting for us, the VIPs, to arrive and get our spotcheck done and over with. Big boo boo. Never piss off a person who can send an email addressing the most minor of concerns to our guy at the top. Cause in a spiralling manner of destruction, it would land very, very heavily on us mortals. Bummer number 3. Anyhow, after a swift and diplomatic negotiation, my section commander managed to resolve the situation, and the Kernel went about his business without too much hassle.

Upon arrival at the base, we discovered that our area of concern was a relatively small gunner ship. Still, it was large enough to hide plenty of contraband items (e.g drugs, ammo, porn, dildos, pets, monkeys from Thailand, wives from Thailand etc. etc.), so the 5 of us split into 2 teams. Unfortuntately for me, I was paired with my platoon sergeant, a 32 year old regular who is absolutely ON THE BALL when it comes to checking stuff.

Let me take this opportunity to point out that this was the first time that I've done a spotcheck on board a navy ship. Somehow, I missed out on plenty of similar operations in the past, so today was the day that I would pop my cherry.

So I hop on board, closely behind my platoon sergeant (PS for short). We climb down a narrow hatch into the men's quarters, just like those in the movies. Mind you, the area in which the sailors sleep is painfully squeezy. More than 10 men have to make do in area that is no bigger than, say, 4 or 5 toilet cubicles? Anyhow, I get right down to business, getting on my knees and checking their beds, bags and lockers.

Now, let me remind you, that the ship I was on had already been docked, and since it was a relatively small gunner ship, the waves were sure as hell swaying the whole damn thing left and right. Within 5 mins of being in such a confined space with all the extra sensory entertainment, my body soon got the better of me. Cold sweat, blurred vision, clammy hands. Yup, that's right. In no time, I was as sea sick as an African bushwacker on a speedboat. Instead of focusing on checking the sailors' belongings, I was focusing on keeping my breakfast in my stomach, where it belonged! My shirt was soon soaked in sweat, and I found that I got more and more disorientated in my movement and speech. The naval officer who was with me, recognized my symptoms, and started yakking about how motion sickness is taken to another level out at sea, where the crew sometimes experience swaying of up to 70 degrees left and right. Stop and think about that for a moment. 70 degress, 20 short of having ur face re-decorated by the metal wall that's supposed to be next to you. And if seasoned sailors respond to that sort of treatment by puking their bodies inside out every hour or so, imagine what it'll do to a sea virgin like me. I'd probably find a gun and shoot myself in the head, assuming I can shoot straight in the first place.
And so I left the quarters, sea sick, sweaty and embarrassed. Bummer number 4. But there's worse to come.

Before we arrived at the naval base, one of my colleagues had told us a story about how his friends in the navy would often hide their illegal pets in the engine room during a spotcheck. Pedigree dogs can be bought in Thailand at 10% of what it would cost back home, along with snakes, lizards, and even monkeys. So, my "on the ball" PS decided to check the engine room right after the quarters. Climbing down the narrow hatch, the first thing which hit me about the room was the HEAT. Of course, the engine room is exactly what it looks like in the movies. A bloody huge engine, squeezed into a tiny room. Engine blocks, pipes, gauges, wires, and all sorts of mechanical gizmos all over the place. The second thing about the place? The noise. The engine crew had ear mufflers on to protect their ears from the insanely loud metallic bangs and screeches heard from deep within the metal monster that runs the ship. And the 2 of us MPs, with ears exposed, went about our business of looking for monkeys that could be hidden right under, hmmmm, that big spinning thing that looks like it could dice a metal rod into sushi? The third thing to hit me? The HEAT. It was fuckin HOT down there... The cold sweat I had incurred from the motion sickness was soon replaced by sticky hot pespiration. As I squeezed myself through the narrow passage ways, I was afraid to even touch anything, considering how amazingly hot the air was. Would I want to lift that metal hatch open and risk having my finger tips fried like eggs on a hotplate? No thanks. So, it is without a bloody doubt, that I left the engine room a very relieved man. Never has sea air smelled so fresh, or felt so cool. It was so horrible down there, that I actually forgot all about the swaying. Bummer number 5.

Well, that just about sums up my first ever operation at a naval base. Not an ideal way to learn the trade, and unfortunately, this is probably the first of many similar operations that I will be taking for the rest of my one and half years left in service. Ay... Oh, did I forget to mention that it took an hour or so of fresh air, with both feet on solid ground, as well as a bottle of Axe oil to alleviate my motion sickness? Ay....

Back at camp, I had my lunch, showered, and took a well deserved nap. OK, perhaps it was too much of a nap. I had intended to wake up before 3 to head to the gym, but by the time I did, it was almost time to book out. Waste of time, gain of fats. Bummer number 6.

Well, it's alright. I can always go for a swim back home. The pool here closes at 10pm, so I intended to go down at 9 and wade around for an hour. However, just a few mins before leaving, I felt an odd itch at the bottom of my right foot. Upon inspection, i discovered a piece of loose skin hanging over a red spot, smack in the middle of my sole. Being the fool that I am, I tugged at the skin. RIIPPPP..... Pain jolted right from the fresh wound all the way to the tips of my ear lobes. I had to hop around the house on one leg looking for medication and a plaster.

And so now here I am, telling you what an interesting day I had today, with a hole in my foot, and a whole stack of wasted time. In fact, as I was typing the part about how I started to get sea sick in the quarters, the nauseating, swaying motion started to come over me again! The power of the mind and memory...

Well, that's all for now. I hope you enjoyed reading this account, and had a good laugh or two at my antics. Until next time...

I'm still here...

Well, my ass is still here in Singapore. Yup, I backed out of the mission on Monday morning itself. I was hoping that additional details would be given to us, but instead, we were just asked to put our names down on a piece of paper and await deployment. Jumping into a one month operation with no details and no info, other than e fact that we will be carrying guns in an area filled with crazy rebels? No thanks... I couldn't take the risk. Furthermore, my mother was starting to have second thoughts on letting me go on this mission. She called me on Monday morning when I was in camp, to update me on the latest shootings in Aceh, and ay..... to beg me not to go!

Hell, my parents get restless nights if I come back at 4 am. What if I'm away in Aceh for a month, and there's absolutely no way for me to call home, or for them to call me? They'll freak man, especially my mother. I'd get back to see them with eye bags the size of the Esplanade.
And hence, my decision to pass on yet another challenge that Life has thrown at me.

But you know what's the best part? The mission didn't even materialise! Yup, my other colleagues who signed up for it are still in Singapore, just like me. In the end, due to politics, pride and etc etc (issues that us peasants aren't supposed to know about), not a single MP (from our sunny little island, at least) set foot in Aceh. Oh well...

Other than that, nothing much in my life has happened I guess. Ay, that's the prob with not updating ur blog regularly; you forget all the essential events in ur life before U can document it!

• Sis leaving tomorrow evening. FINALLY managed to complete Silent Hill 4 a couple of hours ago. Also met up with a cousin of ours the other night. Aiyah, time flies. Could have done so much other stuff during her break here. So much to do, so little time...

• Gym routine is going ok i guess. Going to start following my cousin's advice (former gym instructor); swim to get rid of excess flabs! Goin to swim everyday after i get back from work... Tone man, tone!!!

• Eh.... damn, i think that's it. That's all that happened lately, at least as far as i can remember

Well, back to work tomorrow. Till next time, gd nite y'all

should i stay, or should i go...

I was going to blog about how I missed out on my marksman award by 2 shots. I was going to blog about a couple of new friends I made during the range. I was going to blog about how I realised that some of my colleagues are assholes. And I was going to blog about all the little normal things that happened in my normal, everyday life. But now, I'm going to blog about something much more significant.

My unit is asking for volunteers to fly to Aceh. Not to provide humanitarian aid, but to protect certain installments in the area. In other words, these MPs will be the few volunteers who will be armed in their duties. As to which installments that need protection has not been specified, but our guess would be warehouses that hold food supplies, medical aid etc etc. A show of force has to be present, similiar to the airport duties I mounted in the past. Only this time, the environment is much more real. More risky. More challenging. And more adventurous. My company, having had the experience of Ops B (airport patrol), has been approached to give a list of names by Monday. Volunteers who have been approved will either fly off on Monday night or the following Tuesday morning. They will be expected to stay in Aceh for at least a month, to provide as much support as they can.

I'll be honest. I'm scared to go. I'm scared of all the dangers that could, and will be present. I'm scared of the challenge of facing all the destruction, depression and death for a month. I'm scared of the possibilities of after shocks. I'm scared of the responsibility of holding a firearm, and the duty of protecting whatever is there with my life. It's one thing to goto a crippled country as a humanitarian worker, and another to go there as a show of force. Details of the operation are sketchy, and we have only been given 2 days to make our decision. Of course, my unit is only looking for volunteers, and I won't be forced against my will to go. I'm scared of the challenge, but at the same time, I've come to realise this.

In my entire life, I have done nothing which comes close to being as adventurous, challenging and dangerous as this. My whole life, I've been a boring guy. Nothing that I've ever done has really put me on the edge before. Nothing. There is a burning desire inside of me to take on this challenge that Life has thrown at me, overcome it, and at the end of day, tell myself that I've at last, done something. I don't want to be one of those people who go around, saying how pitiful the victims of the tsunami are, and how they helped by putting 10 bucks into a little plastic box at the train station. No, I don't want to "help" by doing something as easy as reaching into my wallet. I want to take on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and know what it feels like to do something. To help, to suffer, to be independent, to be responsible. And above all, to grow up. I've always believed that we advance in our lives through suffering. People who always find an easy way out will only learn Life's lessons later, at a much worse time and situation. I feel, that if I don't go for this mission, I would be going against alot of things I believe in.

As some of you know, I love telling stories. And the best stories are those which depict events that rarely ever occur in our normal everyday lives. I'm sure that this mission will give me plenty of stories to tell others, and most importantly, fill me with memories to hold on to, for the rest of my life. I've always day-dreamed about living life on the edge, for eg, putting myself at risk by doing extreme things. I've always wanted to break dance. I've always wanted to be a rally driver. I've always want to climb mountains. I've always wanted to..... Dream! That's all I bloody do! I dream and fantasise as I sit on my fat butt and do shit. What's the point? I need to do something challenging! Something that'll make me suffer, and make me appreciate all the good I have around me. I'm scared, yes, but that only strengthens my need to go.

Some of my colleagues advised me not to go. Their exact words, "As a friend, I sincerely hope you won't go. It's dangerous, and it's pointless." One even dared to criticise my decision to consider, by saying that I'm foolish to do this out of pride. Out of gung-ho-ism. Out of my ego. I sincerely felt like beating him up, but thankfully, I just scolded him and shut him up. (btw, he's the colleague who's an asshole)

I don't see this as an opportunity to go round boasting to people that I have the guts to go to the disaster zone and return in one piece. I don't see how the deaths of more than a 100, 000 people can be made as my trophy. No, I see this as an opportunity to actually live, and see Life beyond this controlled, concrete jungle that we live in. It would be my own personal achievement to actually do something radical, and yet at the same time follow the principles that I believe in. After all, my NS life is so relaxed, and boring. My other friends are dealing with live ammunition, mines, bombs, gas chambers etc etc EVERY DAMN DAY. Aren't they courting death as well? They go for overseas exercises as well, and boy do they have to endure a helluva lot of suffering. Much more than me. Isn't it time that I made my NS life more interesting?

I still haven't made the critical decision yet. Perhaps I still don't have the guts to throw myself into the bull pit. It's daunting; being away from my comfort zone for more than a month. I won't see my friends, family, and everything that I've become accustomed to. Just when I thought I could resume my gym routine, this pops up. Talk about perfect timing. Well, I said before, I like to be busy. And Life is definitely fulfilling that wish for me! Event after event has occured... I feel like I'm sliding down a hole, unaware of what I'm going to hit next.

As of now, my mother is against me going. Of course, she's my mother; the paranoid member of the family. All she did ever since I broke the news to her was pace up and down the house, with a look on her face that made it seem like I was going to war with the Iraqis. My father isn't too keen to let me go, but as usual, he always lets my mother make the decision. He just said the usual "it's not going to be easy...... yadadada..... will be dangerous........yadadadada" well DUH lah! I'm 19 going on 20! Am I going to go on with Life just avoiding all the big challenges that are thrown at me??

Wow.... my head feels lighter, having blogged everything I just did. I still have today and tomorrow to think it through. Whoever's reading this, feel free to leave a comment. Your opinions are most welcome. I'm going to take a break now... Will blog again, once I have made up my mind.

Heaven's tears...

It's been a long time since I've last come home so late at night. Went to Shih Han's birthday chalet yesterday evening, and I have to say I had a good time. Chatting with old classmates, fooling around with Han's friends, playing my favourite role as the over enthusiastic camera man. Yup, it was fun. I mean, it's been a helluva long time since I've last been in the centre of attention of a bunch of gals who are 3 or 4 years younger than me? Or should I say this is the first? Drove down to Changi Village for supper with the birthday boy, Elaine and another new friend, after which it was off to explore the infamous Changi Hospital. Dark spooky place, but not quite as disturbing as the Red House. Overall, a great, fun time. Ah... I'm feelin young again.

The past week or so has been pretty eventful, in a good way, thankfully. OK, so i haven't been going to the gym as much as I should have. And maybe I'm feeling that extra flab crawling back up my belly again. But its ok, I've been busy, and that's what I like.Let's see, for memory's sake, I'll make a list of some recent events worth highlighting.

• Jamming with the band: After goodness knows how many months, I finally met up with Leaf, YJ and zul to jam! OK, we were a little rusty here and there, but I can't remember the last time I had so much fun during a jam. Even got a new song out for us to work on. And the solo I improvised on that run was pretty cool too.

• New shoes!!!!: I couldn't believe my eyes when I walked into camp one morning to see a spanking new pair of Puma shoes sitting next to my bed. A group of my MP mates, including my section commander from my trainee days, all chipped in to buy me the shoes! I don't believe it man... this is the first time in my life I've ever gotten a gift from a group of friends! I'm so so so touched... Though there was no specific occasion for giving me the gift, a number of reasons included "to repay you for all the things u did as store IC mah....", "u drive us home so many times, the shoe to pay for fuel..." and my favourite, "your old pair shoes suck!!!" Seriously, I'm so touched by the gift. I've got a new pair of shoes thanks to them!! I was way up in Cloud 9 the whole day man... One moment I'll never forget. I know I've said it a million times, but once again, thanks guys. Oh and by the way, did I mention that the shoes look greeeaaattttt??

• Dinner with baba and Rong: A last min birthday dinner for Angie at Marche. Had a pretty good time hanging out with them after such a long while. Should have brought a camera though, damn. Could have taken alot of nice pics at the Esplanade. The weather was wonderful too. Hopefully there'll be more outings in the future.

• Lounging with Ben, Shuh and YK: Ben brought us to the Equinox at the Swisshotel for some drinks. Lovely place with a lovely atmosphere. If I had appreciated alcohol more, I would say that the drinks were lovely too. But after a tall cocktail and a martini, I was washed out. Head pounding, neck aching, I went home a shaken and mildy tipsy man. Slept like a baby that night...

• Family outing: Another first. My family went out for lunch at some Thai buffet restaurant with David. Can't remember when was the last time I went out with my parents and my sis, but it turned out to be much better than I expected. Excellent food that was marred by your typical Singaporean buffet-goers. After lunch, my father brought me, sis and David to Sim Lim (mother went for her own shoppin) to buy some stuff. Got me a new set of headphones for the PS2 and a MP3 player jack for the car. Cool gadget... All in all, it was pretty enjoyable.

• Birthday celebration for Shuh: Tried my best to make her as happy as possible during my time with her. Dinner at Marche again (see where the flab's comin from?), followed by a brief meeting with some of her skating mates at the Esplanade (who thought that me and her were "pa-toh-ing"). After which, it was off to our fav spot at Kallang, where I gave her her present and card. She liked it alot, thankfully. Hug, hug, laugh laugh, picture taking, flash flash. And I sent her back to her place, where she met another guy friend of hers (filthy rich prick who drives a Merc S class). Somehow, I get the impression that she appreciated his (expensive) gifts more. Nothing said bout the message I wrote on the card either. Oh well... it was still a nice outing. At least I contributed a tiny bit to making her happy on her ultra-packed birthday. If that's all I can do, then... oh well.

• New year celebration: A bit of a pickle, this. The initial plan was to goto the Sentosa countdown party; Shuh had gotten me a ticket. That didn't materialise, and a trip to the Esplanade to see fireworks was proposed. But due to a lack of company, that was scrapped as well. Finally, Zouk was the only remaining option, but I backed out myself. Didn't want to club with a group of people whom I wasn't familiar with. So.... silly little depressed me spent the last night of 2004 playing Silent Hill 4 with my sis instead. Scared ourselves silly in the process, but all in all, it didn't turn out to be such a bad idea after all. Must play our favourite game more before she flys back, which is *gasp* in 2 weeks time!!

Well, that just about sums up all the events that I can remember. Plenty of nice memories to cherish from all of these outings.

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The recent tsunami tragedy is just about the most disturbing and saddening natural disaster to have affected me. To be honest, the reality of the situation didn't hit me until I received 2 tight slaps from Life itself. Firstly, my platoon sergeant still hasn't been able to contact his friends and family in India since the waves first hit. Secondly, I downloaded a couple of home videos made by Caucasian tourists whom were at different coastal locations which were affected by the tsunamis. I saw, in one of the videos, a father and his young son, desperately clinging to a platform for their lives, only to be washed away into the murky sea water that was destroying everything around them. Their bodies just disappeared into the brown rushing water, and in less than a second, they were no more. The camera man, and others around him, were totally powerless to do anything. In that video, I saw 2 people being swept, quite literally, to their death. Nuff said.

The title of this entry is called "Heaven's tears", as is my MSN nick. I have made a personal link between the recent wet weather in Singapore and the tsunami tragedy. When was the last time it rained so much here? I don't know why, but somehow, I get the impression that all this rain is Heaven's tears. Tears of mourning, for those who perished in the floods. Of course, one could argue that this whole event could be Heaven's will, but who are we to know such things? It's just a thought I had...

It feels weird for me to type this, but as a closing note, I really really hope that all the survivors of this disaster will pull through and find the strength to carry on with life. Their suffering really puts our problems into perspective; I remember being depressed over Danielle, but by God, what's my suffering compared to theirs?! Not even a pin prick! And to those who lost their lives in the floods, I hope that they have all passed on to a better place, where they won't have to suffer and be afraid, ever again. May they rest in piece...